Monday, February 21, 2011

Discovering the "Real" you...

We see what we allow our mind to see. When we open our minds and use our experiences and perspective to help fill in the gaps, we often see things that are not really there. For example:

H w m ny of y u can r ad t is se t n e?

Because we have seen these words countless times in our lives, and because we have a solid grasp of the English language, we are able to fill in the missing letters. Our mind sees what isn’t really there.

Once we come to terms with the idea that each of us sees the same things, sometimes very differently, allows us to start the journey to discovering the real you. Who are you? And what do you want? are the two most important questions you can answer, and knowing the real you will help you find out who you are.

The first thing you should do is go look in a mirror. What do you see? What do you see that isn’t really there? Do you like the person looking back at you? There are many tests and analytical tools available for you to look at your personality profile or take an IQ test, but the only test that matters is the one that you give yourself while getting ready in the morning every day. Are you proud of your appearance? Do you take special time to make sure you are attending to your own presentation? To discover the real you, you have to find that point of pride, and when you look in the mirror, you have to like what you see. If you don’t like you, how do you expect others to like you back?

The second thing you should do is sit down with a piece of paper and a pen. On one side, write down all the things you are proud of. On the other side, write down all of the things you are ashamed of. You do not have to share this piece of paper with anyone but yourself, so be honest, go back to your childhood, and start writing down all of the things you can remember in your life. It will be a tough exercise, but worth it if you are really true to yourself.

Place a star next to the three things you are most proud of. Do the same for the three that you are most ashamed of. Do you see a pattern in your behavior? Are you able to detect a certain tendency that is unique to you? If not, then you need to dig a little deeper, and answer these questions with more truth. It is important that you know what your tendencies are for the positive and negative aspects of your behavior if you are really going to make changes in your life.

So what are you most proud of? Why are you so proud of that? Do you remember how it felt when you were in the moment? When you think about that moment, do you get the same kind of feeling? Do you like that feeling?

Everyone has moments of tremendous self pride, and yet they continuously fail to put themselves in a position to experience that same feeling more often. Wouldn’t you rather feel proud of yourself and know that you consciously put yourself in a position to be successful every day?

What are you most ashamed of? This is going to be interesting. You get to look deep into your own soul and see how honest you really are going to be with yourself. When we have to dig into the grave yard where all the bones are buried, it can be painful and cause great anxiety for a lot of people. That is why you have to do it. You have to be willing to delve into your own past and pull out the moments that were the lowest for you in all your life. Do you see a pattern? Do you have a unique tendency that drives you toward failures? If not, then dig deeper, and get really honest with yourself. Once you know what you are currently programmed to do, you can change the program. Until then, you will continue to set yourself up for failure and not know why.

Now you have a glimpse of your real you. You have begun to look into the mirror and see some of the things that are not really there, but they make up the real you. This will be a continuous process of self reflection and personal appraisal of self worth that will go on for the rest of your life, if you are truly committed. Every day is an opportunity to look into the mirror and see more of the real you.

Once you have really identified the things that you are proud and ashamed of, you can start to recognize the situations that trigger your tendencies. And you can use your proud moments as motivation and your shame to change your behavior.

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